[ at first she doesn't even want to read it. she gets the letter of course, and opens it not knowing what it is, but after the first line it's obvious who it comes from. she folds it up and puts it where it can't even peak out.
the past days after what happened were spent with her typical routine, but in the evening she found herself trapped in prayer in the church. to live with hatred in the heart is simply toxic. it rots away at the self, festers until nothing is left, and for what? so she prayed that she could release the anger safely, and find a way to at least be amicable with him, even if they won't be friends. for the sake of the greater good, she can cast aside these feelings.
yet she also prayed for dextera, who was surely damaged by thoughtless words. many times she started a message to him about what guren did, but cowardice stalled her hand from sending it out. she wonders if she should continue spiritual guidance with him, feeling too compromised now. though she does not blame herself for guren's insensitive actions, her heart is in pain when she thinks of dextera and that she played a role in it. she can let go of anger - she's never been good at letting go of sorrow. it is her closest ally and greatest enemy.
when the day finally draws to a close, and her routine is complete, she decides to pull the letter out to read. her hands shake and it partly crumbles because she grips it so hard. she doesn't even remember him doing anything with the wings now; the only parts of that conversation fresh in her mind being their discussion of his demon, his confession, and then slapping him. and though she touched her own wings out of curiosity, the blurriness of memories and the anger and the sadness all colluded to never draw a conclusion that he was compromised in those moments. ]
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the past days after what happened were spent with her typical routine, but in the evening she found herself trapped in prayer in the church. to live with hatred in the heart is simply toxic. it rots away at the self, festers until nothing is left, and for what? so she prayed that she could release the anger safely, and find a way to at least be amicable with him, even if they won't be friends. for the sake of the greater good, she can cast aside these feelings.
yet she also prayed for dextera, who was surely damaged by thoughtless words. many times she started a message to him about what guren did, but cowardice stalled her hand from sending it out. she wonders if she should continue spiritual guidance with him, feeling too compromised now. though she does not blame herself for guren's insensitive actions, her heart is in pain when she thinks of dextera and that she played a role in it. she can let go of anger - she's never been good at letting go of sorrow. it is her closest ally and greatest enemy.
when the day finally draws to a close, and her routine is complete, she decides to pull the letter out to read. her hands shake and it partly crumbles because she grips it so hard. she doesn't even remember him doing anything with the wings now; the only parts of that conversation fresh in her mind being their discussion of his demon, his confession, and then slapping him. and though she touched her own wings out of curiosity, the blurriness of memories and the anger and the sadness all colluded to never draw a conclusion that he was compromised in those moments. ]